So I just finished the Perks of Being a Wallflower.
I find that I lead with “So” because I want to make it seem like this staggering moment when you read that first line (after the title) and think, “Man oh man this book must’ve meant something grand for there to be a dramatic pause at the beginning of this post.”
It’s not too dramatic. I mean yes, I really enjoyed the book and that’s why I’m writing about it now but it’s not super pause-worthy. All of those pauses I don’t know how to put into words and if I did, I’m sure I’d be an award-winning novelist by now.
When I first read Perks I thought a) lots of themes centered around youth and adventures, and b) the narrator writes a lot like I did when I blogged. Of course, I mentioned for a) that I was reminded a lot of Looking for Alaska, but then it went to a way different level and the two books diverged. I won’t say how they diverged because that would spoil both books, but they definitely diverged and can each stand on their own merit.
When I finished Perks, I made all of the usual thematic realizations and such. But I don’t want to talk about that because that’s not what’s relevant to me and that’s not what the entire book is about. Instead I thought a lot about choosing to be a wallflower at this time in my life instead of going out and living. High school was framed in a familiar light by the book, which was then swallowed up by what I remember from college. There are a lot of cycles. And all I can think about now is that I can’t say what I want to say without telling my own story with my own characters and my own words.
And that’s why I want to be an author.
Work has been super busy and I’m stressed out but not panicky. It’s a really sober experience. When it gets rough I just read or drink coffee or listen to whatever song is going on in my head and just stare. I know I’m better for it even if everyone else looking in from the outside thinks I’m not doing what’s good for me.
I used the phrase “take a note out of your book” today with a friend. After writing it, I thought that it was probably “take a page out of your book” but then thought that I didn’t really want to take a page out of a book. And then I thought that the thought itself was cute and that I should write about it in my blog. So here it is.
Shitty things always happen to my favorite main characters, and those shitty things are always the reasons why those people’s lives suck. I mean yeah, sure they suck, but their lives also rule because of who they are and the story they tell.
I guess I’m just a bit pissed off our culture focuses on the bad things we can’t all relate to and not the good things we can all celebrate. That and the general obsession with tragic characters. But that’s more with my beef that all tragic characters need some tragedy to hold them up against analysis. I just want a tragic character who’s tragic because he’s tragic.
Okay, I’m done. (: I’m going to sleep because I need to wake up early tomorrow to pay the bills.